I Am Not Natasha

I read somewhere a long time ago that every sexual encounter changes a person. A book science book I read years ago claimed that every time human beings have sex produce the hormone oxytocin, also called bonding hormones, which bonds us emotionally to our sex partner. In women this hormone lasts for two weeks in system and in men it only lasts a couple of hours. Nobody knows how this affects women but we can only imagine that is it part of why being a prostitutes results in many mental health issues.

A while ago I went to see a photographic exhibition called ‘Not Natasha’ which portrayed the lives of girls and young women from Moldova the poorest country in Europe, who had been victims of trafficking into United Kingdom and some of whom had managed to go back home. The exhibition is part of the ‘Turn off the Red Lights’ campaign by Immigrants Council of Ireland in collaboration with FOMACS as well as The British Council and Dublin City Council. The images were very moving and the captions below each image mind blowing. Most of the time we see images of prostitutes so much that we don't see their vulnerability or their similarities to us. The way ‘Not Natasha’ images were taken is very moving and makes one think. They were taken in everyday places and are of people doing everyday things that we don’t usually want to associate with prostitutes. They reminded us that behind it all they are sisters, brothers, daughters and even mothers to someone. We get to see the humanity in the young women and girls, the things that we can also relate to that they do in their lives like sunbathing or spending time with a friend.

Natasha is the name given to all prostitutes from Eastern Europe and these women hate being called by it but have no choice. Moving images of young women like Dalia who was sold by her husband for $2200 and Clarisa who was sold by her best friend for $800

Chuch Leaders - Called or Collared

It's amazing the kind of things people do when they are afraid.  The most intelligent person will do anything if they decide to act from a place of fear.  Look at what is happening in Zimbabwe for example.  People are falling prey to so called christian prophets who come in the name of God and heal in the name of Jesus.  Miracles are promised of healing, of wealth and abundance beyond believe.   People are told they can make money beyond their wildest imagination and if they ever dreamt of owning a house bigger than Chiyangwa's then they will do whatever it takes to get it.  They will pray day and night, tithe like never before and they will go to church everyday of the week just so when the abundance spirit comes they won't be missed.  A bit like the man the well waiting 38 years to be healed.  There are enough verses to keep people holding on and to keep coming back for more.  There are enough verses to make people convinced enough that God will only give them if they do the right thing but most importantly if they do it they right way.

But there is a catch.  The catch being that they have to have faith.  If they are not getting their dreams realised then they are not praying hard enough and their faith is not strong enough.  They can't get if they forgot to tithe 10% from the $20 they got from their niece

Nhaka - The Values We Dropped Without Thinking

The Shona people of Zimbabwe had vast traditional wealth that served it very well for centuries before colonisation.  Of course there were some practices that needed to be gotten rid of but there were others that served everyone and helped families and communities live in harmony.  Some of these practices today are considered barbaric and have mostly been gotten rid of or mostly discouraged without even having debates about them.  Most of the debates have been led by women in the cities who have no understanding or grasp of what life is like for the woman in the rural area whom they are advocating change for.  Women in rural areas are not consulted and their opinion is not considered important because well,  they rural women and unenlightened so what would they know.  Except that knowledge, intelligence and a true understanding does not only come from a book.

One of the most controversial issues of our time is nhaka, a practice whereby when a husband dies after a year a memorial is held and the wife gets to choose one man within the late husband's family to become her husband.  Not all relatives would be eligible to be selected.  The few that do have a year to woo the lady in question so on the day she can pick them among the many hopefuls.  This was mostly done for young widows of child bearing age.  This was because the Shona traditions held the view that once a woman reached menopause her interest in sex died but that's a subject for another day.

Impossible? What Is That

Impossible is just a reason not to try or even attempt.  I know because I used to use that word a lot.  I have to say though that I didn’t initially start that way.  I learnt to think that way.  I used to be so hopeful, so full of what others call called ‘impossible dreams’.  I used to come up with great ideas and the grown ups would say forget it Neltah, that’s impossible.  For a long time I believed that and conformed but then I started questioning why God would create me with such a brain, make me dream this big and see these colourful and imaginable almost tangible hues and textures only to then  laugh in my face and say you are dreaming too big.  One day I had that conversation with God.  I didn’t get an instant understanding or even have a big dream that made me say wow now I get it.  I had an encounter with my daughter, then 7 years old.  We were talking about what she wanted in her life, what she wanted to do when she grew up.  She said she wanted to be a dancer, a singer, an actress, a fashion designer, a writer and be a great mom like me.  I said to her that’s impossible Ashley.  You can’t do all that.  There isn’t much time.  You need to focus on one thing.

‘Yes you can mom.  You are a writer, a fashion designer, an actress and a great mom and your dancing is great too.  You just don’t get paid for it. 

Dan Phillips: Creative houses from reclaimed stuff

Imagine if we could use all that waste in the world to build homes for our homeless!! Wouldn't that be something.